Do you know what stands in the way of the life you’ve dreamed of? If I told you it was self-confidence, would you believe me? Self-confidence could be your #1 superpower because when you believe in yourself you have the power to create your life. You become unstoppable. It doesn't mean you won’t fail or fall down. You will still face obstacles and battles in your life. The difference is that when you're confident, you know that you can get back up, figure things out and begin again. When you're confident in yourself and your abilities, you have a major advantage in both your personal and professional life.
I spent the majority of my professional career working in talent development, which is where I discovered my passion for helping others grow. It's also where I discovered a little secret - I wasn't the only person in the business world who lacked confidence. In fact, I was in good company. Coaching session after coaching session the same themes came up. Young leaders who were experiencing imposter syndrome and self-doubt after being promoted into a role they felt was too big for their abilities. Experienced professionals who lacked the self-confidence to pursue the careers they really wanted.
Back then, I’d offer encouragement and accountability where I could because I didn't have the experience or tools to help them navigate these thoughts and feelings. What I’ve learned since thing is that a lack of confidence is centered around your belief in yourself. It comes from not trusting yourself or doubting your abilities. Confidence (or a lack of confidence) affects every aspect of your life. It determines whether you stay in a toxic relationship or leave. It affects whether you will settle for a salary that is less than you deserve or if you keep searching for a company that sees your worth. It determines whether we go after our dreams and reach our full potential. A lack of confidence can rob us of trust in relationships, success in our professional life, adventure and joy in our personal lives, and most importantly the ability to unconditionally love ourselves.
Confidence is not about how you look, it's about how you feel. If you felt more confident, what would you do? This is a question I've asked many women throughout my experience coaching. From a professional perspective, clients respond with: ask for a promotion, believe I was worthy of having a seat at the table, or speak up when I had something important to share. From a personal perspective, they've shared comments like: dress differently, start dating again, and stop second-guessing myself. These are powerful examples of how confidence can change your life.
So how do you build confidence in yourself? Well first off, it’s not something inherent when you have the perfect body, land the perfect job or buy the perfect house. Confidence comes from within. It starts with having a growth mindset and the belief that no matter what you face, you have the option to get back up and start again. When you’re confident, you aren’t so tied to the outcome of a situation that when it doesn’t go the way you planned you begin to doubt yourself and your abilities. When you let go of expectations of yourself and the outcome of the situation, you’re letting go of worry and doubt (which are forms of stress). You can experience the situation for what it is, an opportunity to learn and grow.
You will always face obstacles and failures throughout your life. As you gain confidence in yourself, the obstacles won’t seem so overwhelming. In fact, you’ll see them as lessons and if you fall down, you won’t stay down for long.
Throughout coaching, training, and life experience, I’ve developed a list of activities to help my clients gain confidence and build their belief in themselves. If confidence is something you struggle with, I would encourage you to join the 5-Week Confidence Challenge that launches on September 1st. It’s a FREE challenge where I will share strategies and tools you can put into practice to build more confidence in yourself. To learn more about the 5-Week Confidence Challenge click here.
- Crystalynn
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